A Lifelong Connection

I remember when Amy called in for the first time.  I was running errands and standing in line at the bank.  Because our helpline is answered 24 hours, we take it everywhere.  As soon as I heard her voice, I knew she was special.  I heard her share that she had been referred to us through the Pregnancy Resource Center that her church worked with.  A connection through a connection which we are confident was the Lord’s plan in the making.

When Amy said, “I’m pregnant and have some questions about adoption”, I stepped out of the line immediately and was heading out to my car for some privacy when the bank manager motioned me to use an empty office.  The manager is always accommodating and knows we “do” adoption and must have sensed that this call was important.  I love small blessings like that.

Amy is 29 and a loving mom to her 9 year old son.  She was recently laid off from her job. She shared that she was now living with her parents and that her mom had been laid off as well.  Though she had been in a relationship with the birth father, they had mutually decided to break up. He was supportive of making an adoption plan.  I set up a meeting with her.

Upon meeting Amy, I was taken by her gentle demeanor.  She is tall with big eyes and her hair is cut in this short, cool style that I wish I could pull off, but would never have the courage to attempt.   I LIKE her.  Have you ever met anyone and immediately liked them?  That’s Amy.  You’d feel the same way.

Paperwork, options, realities of the adoption process and everything else was discussed.  After much thought, prayer, and seeking counsel, Amy decided that adoption was the right decision for her.  She took all of the profiles and looked them over thoroughly, praying over each family.  She is just that way.

Ultimately she selected three families, decided to meet with two and chose one.

After her decision was made, there was no fluctuating.  She referred to her daughter as “their” daughter.  Them, being Mike and Kim, a couple who had experienced infertility issues, then a somewhat bumpy adoption journey before they were referred to us and matched with Amy.  Have you ever met anyone and immediately liked them?  That would be Mike and Kim.  And Amy liked them immediately.

As time progressed, so did the relationship between Amy with Mike and Kim.  Close in age with similar senses of humor, bonding time at doctor appointments, discussions over lunch and even going to the movies together brought these three people to develop a true friendship.

Sometimes there is no opportunity for a relationship to develop between an adoptive family with their birth mom, other times – that opportunity is not taken.   In this situation, the opportunity was there and appreciated by Mike and Kim.   In doing so, not only did their thoughtfulness put Amy’s heart at ease, it gained her trust and respect for them.

As I met this adoptive couple and this birth mom for lunch last week, it was the first time I had seen them together since their match meeting. I found it to be really wonderful to not get their “inside jokes”, and to witness their realness with one another.  It was quite refreshing for me to not have to make sure everybody was comfortable.  They were already comfortable.

Amy’s mom was even there.  It doesn’t get any better than a birth mom having her own mom be supportive during this process.  I really didn’t need to be there.  Everything that was discussed could have been discussed without me and everybody would have been alright.

Just a few days after our lunch, Amy’s labor was induced and we literally had as good a time that could be had in a labor room.  Amy taught Mike a new card game and he impressed us all with his skill (or beginner’s luck).  🙂  Kim shared cute stories and we talked and laughed.  Amy’s mom, Marta, thoughtfully looked on and was an amazing presence there for Amy and the rest of us.

Thankfully, the hospital staff was incredible – very adoption friendly and accommodating.  They allowed the four of us – Mike and Kim, Marta and me to help her through the labor and delivery.

And – after a little medical drama, some major pushing by Amy and all day talk of whether or not the baby would be here before midnight or not, Miss Emsley Breanne made her entrance into this world at 11:59 and 53 seconds pm!

Just like before the delivery, the stay in the hospital afterwards was warm and cozy.  Well – as warm and cozy as a hospital stay can be.  It’s all because of the amazing strength of a young woman, who took an experience in her life, and chose to make it beautiful.  The reality to this situation is that Amy has the love, maturity and experience to be a good mom to Emsley.  Yet, she chose adoption because of her love, due to her maturity and as a result of her experience.

Amy, being wonderful Amy, texted me yesterday afternoon to let me know that she was home from the hospital.  She then thanked me “for being so supportive and sweet” and closed with “Love you”.  There she goes again, thinking about others…

I received a call from Mike and Kim yesterday afternoon as well.  They had just gotten home from the hospital.  Mike was just calling to let me know that they were okay.  Emsley was making those cute newborn sounds and when she started fussing, I offered to let Mike go so he could deal with her.  He said confidently, “No, that’s okay – I have you on speaker.”  He then did his magic Daddy thing and Emsley quieted down immediately.  I then heard Kim come into the room and share that she was so happy to have been able to grab a quick shower.  I had to giggle because they both shared how real it felt now that they were home.  They were probably not aware that they sounded like they were seasoned parents already.   I could feel their joy through the phone.

After hanging up the phone with them, I found myself praying with thankfulness.  God IS so good.  Like so many Adoptive Parents, Mike and Kim have a story to share that has some stress and pain involved.  If you ask them, they will share that the Lord carried them through, grew their faith and has blessed them incredibly.

Regarding Amy… her story is to be continued.  Stay tuned to hear how the Lord works in this amazing young woman’s life.   We know that He will bless her for doing something so selfless as she continues to seek Him for direction in her life.

Amy ~

The word we kept hearing in the hospital from all of the nursing staff regarding you was “strength”.  They were right – you have exhibited strength throughout this whole process.  I have not heard one complaint from you – ever.  Your concern has always been with making certain this was the best experience for Mike and Kim.

As Mike so truthfully shared, it is that strength that you seek from the Lord, along with the huge heart that He has blessed you with, that makes you so special.  You are an extraordinary young woman and I am thankful that you are now a part of my life.

May our God bless you mightily as you move forward in your life.  May He direct your path as you continue to trust in Him.  (Proverbs 3:5 &6)

I am blessed to be here as your prayer partner and Life Coach – but most importantly as your friend.  I am so excited to celebrate with you all of the goals you will reach and the dreams that will be fulfilled. Use that strength and determination you have within you to get there…  God has big plans for you.

I love you.  I am thankful for you.  I believe in you.

Always here for you,

Michelle