David & Garrett are at a baseball game. Devony is napping after an amazing track meet this morning and a big soccer game, this afternoon. Ari is off having fun somewhere. I am sitting on my bed working, answering emails and messages, writing… A somewhat, normal Saturday for the somewhat, normal me. I turned the TV on for some background noise.
I don’t make it a normal habit to watch the Real Housewives of anywhere, but I also don’t live under a rock. I don’t know the names of all the players, but do read the covers of tabloids while waiting in the grocery checkout line. I will flip through and read articles when I get my toenails done every other month or so. I watch the news which now, often includes “celebrity” stuff. These women are considered to be celebrities in our society.
Again, I’m not really “watching – watching.” Though, I can’t help but notice how they look, their homes, the cars they drive… Okay, maybe I’m drawn in, just a little bit. Comparison is the thief of joy. I turn back to my computer.
I start to respond to a FB message from a dear friend who is asking me to pray for her. Tomorrow, she and her husband will release, give back, let go of the infant baby girl that they have loved and cared for since her birth. Oh, how my friend’s heart is breaking. After adopting three children privately, they recently finished their licensing for fostering to adopt. Her love for this child came instantaneously and with no conditions attached. She found it an honor to get up in the middle of the night and care and comfort this child, praying to be her forever mommy – but understanding that she may not be. All of the sudden I hear arguing, I look up and am so incredibly put-off by the Housewive’s pettiness that I am witnessing on my TV. Who threw what wine on who?! Who’s husband did what?! Oh brother!
As I turn my attention back to my computer, I read a long and thoughtful message from a Mom who has recently lost her soon-to-be adopted baby girl. It was shocking and heart breaking when that baby was still born. This situation was close to my heart, but so, so much closer to hers. She is sharing and I am reading. I respond as professionally and as friendly as I can… she is a client, but also has become my friend. She is the type of person that I would and could feel comfortable having in my home or joining her for coffee to talk, or just be.
“Bleepity- bleep, yelling, pointing, screaming, calling names, how dare you, I deserve an apology, you’re a drunk, excuse me!” The Real Housewives are at it, big time. Drama so unnecessary. So much has been given to these women, financially speaking, and yet they bicker about nonsense. Their friendships consist of shallow interactions that are driven by judgment. They attempt to one up one another by words or actions.
I find it completely ironic that I am in the midst of responding to two REAL Life Housewives, while allowing myself to be present to the extreme narcissism and sad reality of the Housewives that our culture has made into “celebrities.” I am in awe of my real, housewife, mom friends. Their stories are REAL. They live a REAL life, no acting, no retakes, no hair and makeup professionals in sight. Yet, they are nothing short of inspirational. If you saw them, you would think they are beautiful… truly beautiful. The type of beautiful that overflows from the inside out. They are goodness.
I will admit that I felt myself admiring the glitz of the TV Housewives today. That shimmer lost it’s shine very quickly, though. I wish that others could so publicly watch the lives of my two friends – these other, less famous, real women. Perhaps your eyes would not be drawn to the glamor, but you would never have to question the integrity of their actions. You may not get caught up in the mellow-drama, but you could not help being drawn into the story of their lives as they go through the adoption process. Instead of insults and put downs, you would see two women who, with their husbands, tend to and care for their multi- racial children. You would see two women who do not seek to put others in their place, but help the less fortunate up to more secure one. They also, would never ask for me to write a blog or compliment them publicly, in any way. I am doing so because I am inspired by them and to me, they are the very definition of the woman being described in Proverbs 31.
28Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.