Amy

“Lord, I know this is Your will and Your blessing and I am thankful to be able to carry it out. Lord, guide me to the next step…”

Family is such a beautiful blessing.  It’s not perfect, it takes a lot of work, and you have to put yourselves aside to be able to raise your children.  God knows my heart, He knows my desire, and He knows how I can lose track of Him in effort to control my own will.  Even though I backslide, my heart and mind always pull back towards the Lord.  I hit a rock bottom at a point in my life and inside me grew an innocent.  I had an instant fear for her as our situation was so complicated.  I went to the Lord and through prayer I heard “This is not for you.”   Isn’t He so poetic?  “Lord, I’m on board!”

In my church bulletin, there was this phone number alongside what I misread to read “Teen pregnancy and adoption helpline”.   That number was for the Pregnancy Resource Center in San Bernardino and it connected me to Raquel.  We had such a special conversation that stays with me as one of the many signs of how adoption touches people in a wonderful way, thank you Jesus!  See the word “Adoption” looks like “Abortion” and I wasn’t identifying with that or “teen pregnancy” and probably wouldn’t have thought to call there if I had read it right. Small detail but it is impactful to this bigger story I have.

Raquel couldn’t help me there but quickly said “You should talk to Michelle with Adoption Answer.”  She told me Michelle was local and I could meet with her pretty quickly.  I hung up then called Michelle while I had the momentum and questions.  Ring ring… (walking laps around the couch) ring ring… “Adoption Answer…”  Wow.  I know every one of you who have called her can understand me when I say there is something instantly special about Michelle.  I was calling for answers but admit I was concerned that I was going to be given a pitch.  With Michelle, you can tell that if your lives are going to connect that it is because it’s God’s will and not something artificial to that.  She gave me answers and made herself open and available in case I had more questions or wanted to begin the process. She concerned herself with where I was at in life and made it a point to me that she doesn’t judge me and I knew her actions were going to prove that.  Even though I didn’t feel I needed anything but answers at that moment, I appreciated that if there was something I needed she would work something out. I believe that Adoption Answer supports her to be able to do this. Thank you Jesus!  Wow!!!

The connection I have with Mike and Kim went further than our adoption match.  Our friendship is God centered and what blossoms out of that is ever revealing.  They are such an amazing couple.   I feel they have put themselves out there and I respect that and see it as a gift.  I want to mention that because we spent great care over each other, there was some amazing harmony in the delivery room and after care.  I appreciate that they didn’t walk on eggshells around me and that they really trusted me.  I appreciate them for so many reasons.  It has been 4 months since I first met Emsley and I still have no regrets here, no sadness.  It has been my privilege to have gone through this.  I have given my grief of backslide to God a long time ago and do not carry that with me.  I have been polished by this experience and would do it all again if that’s what God wants for me.

I open myself up to you.  If there is something more I can share with you please contact me.  I looked for something here on the website when I begin this process but didn’t find it until I made the call for questions.  Birthmothers and fathers; take pride in the fact that you have options and it should mean something that you are looking into them.  Adoptive parents in waiting, I think about how you’re in this journey everyday and how He is working on preparing you. I think about how He doesn’t give anyone more than they can handle.  I have a strong desire to say this now; God never takes his eyes off of you and He is committed to you.  To everyone who’s connected through adoption, I am thankful to you.  What adoption is today is so beautifully faceted.   Feeling pride and satisfaction because you are a part of something beautiful teaches the world that adoption is a healthy choice and an option to consider. May God continue to touch you in your lives.

 

 Michelle, I love you. You are so very special. Thank you for following your calling. Thank you for the help you give to others. Thank you to your family for their support in what you do and their sacrifice. Thank you for being a mentor to me.  You are “Love” and you are “Grace”.  You are a beautiful child of God.  Wow.  –Amy