My dealing with women in unplanned pregnancies has been a consistent work in progress. Because I was in an unplanned pregnancy and dealt with an abusive relationship… I felt literally called to help others. Step by step and experience by experience, the Lord has stretched me emotionally, physically and spiritually.
My heart has been chipped and broken by some of these situations:
· The 11 year old whose aunt called in, because her niece was pregnant by a family member.
· The 15 year old who called in from her Grandmother’s closet, because that is where she had just given birth.
· The 41 year old mom of 12, who was pregnant with a baby with Down Syndrome and didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with this situation.
· The 27 year old who was prostituting in order to support herself – with her two year old daughter present.
These situations may seem extreme, but they are the reality of what we are here to deal with. Many people ask why abortion would not be the chosen option, when it is for so many others that are not dealing with these life circumstances. In each and every case, there has been a moral conviction and the realization that the baby is not to blame and should be allowed to have a life and family.
Behind each of these situations, are two lives. The life of the baby, and the life of the mom. Adoption is not just about the baby. So many of these young women have not had anyone to be a support system to them in their lives. There was a time when I first started in this work – twenty years ago – that I would just try and tell them how to change their lives. The “Here’s what you can do” method did not help long term… I would be so frustrated to see so many go back to their old lifestyle. That’s when I became a prayer warrior. This was not about me or my success rate in helping others to clean up their lives. This was about relationship and my example of that was my own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
I will say it again, because it bears repeating over and over and over again. Adoption is not just about the baby. Finding the baby a good, safe, loving, stable, Christian home is very fulfilling. It gives me the warm and fuzzies – EVERY time! I am blessed to witness this. However, the real work continues onward. As we come alongside these women who came to us as Expectant Women seeking answers for their pregnancy, they now become Birth Moms who need help and support dealing with their adoption and their lives. We continue to pour into them and give them life coaching tools to carry them towards their God given goals and dreams.
The majority of Expectant Moms who decide to place for adoption are in their mid-twenties with 1 -3 children already. We also help those who are in their teens and college age girls as well. There are many who call us, who are dealing with drug addiction. And, we have those women who contact us who share that they are “hustling” or prostituting because they know no other way. Each and every situation is unique. Each and every woman is met exactly where she is at in her present circumstance. We LOVE them, because Christ loved us first. If our Savior could hang out with sinners and those who many consider “questionable characters”… than so can we. In fact, I now feel quite comfortable doing so.
Recently, I received a Victory Call from one of our Birth Moms – Lindsey! Victory Calls are when one of clients calls us to share about the ways God is blessing them, how they are reaching their goals and their life accomplishments. It is a time of celebration! It wasn’t always a celebration with Lindsey… there have been many tears and much time praying over this sweet, young woman. She has a testimony that will grip your heart. Lara Scott and I were blessed to have this time interviewing her. If you’d like to hear more, please tune into The Adoption Answer Show. It airs on Sundays at Noon PST on KKLA 99.5 fm – for those outside California www.kkla.com
HOW you can help:
1. If you know someone in an unplanned pregnancy, please share our info with them. We are here. Unplanned Pregnancy Helpline – 1-877-357-1177
2. Do you need someone to come and speak about adoption, in a truthful – yet loving manner? We help educate Pregnancy Resource Centers how to share adoption with their abortion minded clients. We speak to youth groups, schools and at women’s events as well. Adoption is a miraculous and heart touching subject.
3. Are you inspired to help? If you would like to help with our Birth Mom Support Services, there is much work to be done, help to be given and love to be shown. Your prayer partnership is also appreciated. Please email my assistant: Chelsea@AdoptionCenterofHope.com and we will share details about our upcoming trainings.
4. Follow us on social media:
For The Adoption Answer Show stuff: https://www.facebook.com/theadoptionanswershowTwitter: https://twitter.com/MichelleDettman and https://twitter.com/radiolara Instagram: Instagram.com/theadoptionanswershow For Adoption Center of Hope stuff: https://www.facebook.com/AdoptionAnswer https://www.facebook.com/MichelleDettmanAdoptionPro