After having a phone discussion with one of our Adoptive Moms today, I found myself both bothered and impressed. The adoptive mom’s name is Jessica. She is Caucasian, as is her husband Harry. Their almost two month old baby girl, Sara, is bi-racial African America/Caucasian. Together, they make a beautiful family.
Sadly, they have received remarks from perfect strangers questioning Sara’s place in their family; questioning their place as Sara’s parents. I am bothered by the callousness of the statements and find myself wanting to come to their defense. There is no need for me to do so though. Jessica, small in stature with her sweet southern drawl, shares how she became “Mama Bear” and let ’em have it.
I now feel justifiably angry and proud of her at the same time. I shared with Jessica my desire to write about this. As I sat down to do so, I realized this is not about reverse racism or racism in any form really. Though it saddens me that this may be an issue that some adoptive families face. This – is about Jessica and Harry. This is about Jessica and Harry walking into that hospital seven weeks ago and upon seeing their daughter for the very first time, they saw just that. They saw their daughter and they named her Sara, then they proudly took her home. When Sara’s place in their lives was questioned, they stood up and gave the only answer they know. She is perfect and right where she belongs.
The journey of their adoption has been emotional, with hills and valleys like so many others. They came to us last December and shared their dream. We started working together with them in February. In this line of work, I am blessed to see dreams of becoming a mommy or daddy for the first time fulfilled. But it is rare that I am able to witness our couples “become” parents. Today, I had that privilege.
After hearing about Jessica’s encounter, she shared Harry’s response after she told him. I was not surprised at his immediate desire to protect little Sara and how he could best meet the needs of his family. Together, they are making plans as how to deal with this situation – should they ever be faced with it again. Just like any other mom and dad, their daughter is their priority.
I am proud of Jessica and Harry for so many reasons. They opened their hearts to adoption. They closed their eyes to color. They have shown nothing but love to Sara’s birth mom. But today, I think I am most proud that they have embraced their role as protector over this sweet little girl – as if they had given birth to her themselves. That instinct, and their unconditional love for Sara, did come to them – naturally.
Welcome to parenthood Harry and Jessica. Sara could not be in better hands.